End of a Bush, a Mailbox and a Road Sign

Life here in the suburbs has been just too exciting for words. The other night I heard a strange noise. Burglar? Surely not. Not here, where nothing ever happens. I wasn't too concerned about an intruder as the noise was somewhere outside. Next day, first thing in the morning, lo and behold I noticed something really odd about the bush out front and the mailbox. There was no mailbox! And the bush had been damaged quite badly. There were tire marks on the front lawn and, upon closer scrutiny, I spied the remains of the mailbox scattered on our next door neighbour's yard. Not only that, the road sign out front was lying flat on its back. Golleee. Am I a Sherlock Holmes, or what?



Unfortunately, I hadn't brushed my teeth, nor washed, nor basically performed any ablution. At least I did have on clothes and not just night attire! Just then a neighbour drove by in his car and stopped.

"Hi! Good morning!!" Yikes! I can't stand people who are cheery first thing in the morning.
"Hi." I managed a plaintive smile along with the plaintive 'hi'.
"What happened here?"
I backed away, hand covering my mouth. I really couldn't be bothered answering, especially since I hadn't brushed my teeth.
"Have a nice day!" he yelled with a great big wave as he drove away.
Just as I was about to go back inside another neighbour miraculously appeared. Fortunately, it was just his head that appeared. You see, he had opened his window and was peering out it of it. "I heard a noise last night. I sure did. Didn't I?"

I assumed he was talking to his wife. Of course, maybe he was talking to himself. Strange things can happen in the suburbs.

Anyone else want to see me in this state of disarray?! I waved as merrily as I could to the neighbour hanging out of his window and decided I better call the police. After all, they'd want to investigate the squashing of the road sign. Thinking that the police would take for ever to turn up, I decided to make myself a coffee. Oops. I should have spent the time getting cleaned up. In just two minutes the police arrived and there was I outside again, looking as if I had been dragged through a bush. No pun intended.

All of this before seven a.m. And we never have found out who lost control of his or her car and smashed the bush, the mailbox and the road sign.

Now, where's the best place to buy a new mailbox? And how easy will it be to install? Hmmm.